4 Months Freelance
During month 3 I was feeling insecure and a little shaken up about my new freelance life. And some of that carried over into Month 4 - despite how much really great work I've had coming in. Every time I get a job I can't help but wonder where the next one will come from. And the one after that. I couldn't seem to shake these insecurities no matter how hard I tried - and they started to find their way into my body, the upcoming Everest adventure and into the evenings and weekends. Then I find myself stressed out about being stressed out - this was not part of the dream. My confidence is still there - it's just hiding out in the shadows - waiting for me to get over this scardey cat bullshit. All of that said, it has been one of the busiest months yet. I've got lots of projects in the works and a few completed that I can't wait to show you.
On a more positive note, I've had to make quite an adjustment from ad agency life to home-office-freelance-life and now I'm transitioning yet again and finding new energy in my community. I've made lots of new friends that work in a variety of creative fields - and they're all young entrepreneurs that are in the same boat as me. They fire me up and get me excited about my choice to give it a go on my own. So even when I get anxious about what's next I get more excited the things I'm going to do. The things I'm going to make.
Damn doubt and insecurity! It always creeps up when we got a good thing going. Makes me believe even more that it is what I am supposed to be doing.
Finding the right words for this post was hard. Because for as freaked out and insecure as I can get I wouldn't choose it any other way. I'm so grateful and excited... I think it's just easy to get caught up in the grind.
no matter how insecure you may feel, kathleen, you are consistently inspiring all of us. thanks for keeping it honest and putting yourself out there.
i'm also excited to see the work you've done for your brother, he told me a little about it when i met him this summer!
Thanks, Kat. I try to keep it positive around these parts but I don't want to give off the impression that everything is perfect and without struggle.
Check out Donnyvomit.com! I'm working on the rest of his stuff this week and can't wait to see the final products myself. I'm so glad you got to meet him. :)
Me again! Thanks for posting about your freelance fears; reading these posts help me a lot as I have just quit my career to follow my own freelance dream. The fact that im striking out on my own is something that has been keeping me awake at night. So please keep updating us on your journey!
i really admire your courage in facing the fear and voice about it ... to leave one's comfort zone and venture into something challenging and uncertain already took quite a bit courage than normal ... so you are totally on your way to freedom - i have no doubt about it! xx
In the rush...but having read your note have to share my thoughts - the beauty of courage when you are chasing your dreams is that you never think about fear, insecurity or doubts that are actually crucial elements of your future achievements - without them you would not be able to appreciate your success (whatever you feel the success might be)...Rise above and keep creating...have a lovely day!
Your honesty is refreshing. Keep plugging away, though, you're too talented to stop.
Besides, I'm one of the ones in line to order something when I get a second to breathe around here. :)
Kelly
I love it when you share your perspective on being freelance. I totally understand and relate to all of this. I think having a support group is so important. It's so hard not to let work take over your life when you are freelance.. and yes.. then there's the stress about jobs, finances, etc..
"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail" Dorthea Brande
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